5 Mistakes I Made as a New Counselor (And What I Do Differently Now)
Are you just starting out as a school counselor or mental health professional and feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone. Whether you’re a school counselor, psychologist, social worker, or allied health professional, the early years can feel like trial by fire. I’ve been in this field for over two decades, and while I now feel confident and grounded, I vividly remember those early missteps—and the important lessons they taught me.
In this post, I’ll share five common mistakes I made as a new counselor and what I do differently now. If you’re navigating similar challenges, I hope this offers some clarity, comfort, and practical guidance.
Why This Topic Matters
Supporting children in schools and therapeutic settings is deeply meaningful work. But it also demands a strong foundation in boundaries, self-awareness, and realistic expectations. Without that, even the most compassionate counselor can burn out or struggle to connect with clients. By unpacking the missteps I made early on, I want to help others avoid common pitfalls and build more sustainable, confident practices.
Mistake #1: Trying to “Fix” Everything
What I Did
I came into the profession with a heart full of empathy and a desire to help every child who walked through my door. I saw myself as someone who could swoop in and make things better—quickly. But the truth is, the role of a counselor isn’t to fix; it’s to walk beside.
What I Do Now
Now, I focus on empowerment over rescue. I help children and families identify their strengths, build coping strategies, and take ownership of their progress. Healing and change are not linear—and they don’t happen overnight. My role is to create a safe space and plant seeds that may not bloom immediately, but are still deeply impactful.
Mistake #2: Ignoring My Own Boundaries
What I Did
In my first year, I said “yes” to everything—extra duties, after-hours calls, back-to-back sessions with no breaks. I thought this made me more committed and helpful. In reality, it made me exhausted and emotionally depleted.
What I Do Now
I’ve learned that boundaries are not barriers—they’re protection. Now, I schedule buffer time between sessions, protect my personal time, and check in with myself regularly. Modeling boundaries also teaches students and families that self-care is not selfish—it’s essential.
Mistake #3: Underestimating the Power of Play
What I Did
Early on, I sometimes rushed through activities or didn’t fully honor the symbolic language in children’s play. I prioritized verbal conversations or tried to “interpret” too quickly, especially with older kids.
What I Do Now
Now, I understand that play is the language of children. Even older students often express themselves through metaphors, role-play, or art. When a child plays with the same toy over and over, I lean in with curiosity instead of redirecting. One young girl once spent weeks lining up the same family of animals. It eventually led to deep conversations about feeling invisible in her own family. That experience shifted everything for me.
Mistake #4: Neglecting Collaboration with Teachers and Parents
What I Did
I focused heavily on individual sessions, often forgetting that children’s ecosystems—home and school—are vital parts of the puzzle. I used to avoid difficult conversations with teachers or would send home generic notes instead of personalized, strengths-based communication.
What I Do Now
Now, I view myself as a bridge between the child and the systems around them. I actively collaborate with parents and educators, offer practical tools for the classroom, and invite families into the process in trauma-informed and empowering ways. Building trust and rapport with the adults in a child’s life amplifies the impact of our work tenfold.
Mistake #5: Expecting Progress to Look a Certain Way
What I Did
I expected quick progress. If a student still struggled with anxiety or meltdowns after several sessions, I worried I wasn’t doing enough. I wanted neat, observable improvements—and sometimes felt disheartened when those weren’t immediate.
What I Do Now
Now, I celebrate micro-wins: a child making eye contact, using one coping strategy, or even just showing up to the session with less resistance. Growth is rarely linear, and some of the most meaningful changes happen quietly over time. Understanding that every child’s journey is unique allows me to show up with presence, patience, and genuine curiosity.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way
Growth as a counselor doesn’t come from doing everything perfectly. It comes from staying reflective, curious, and connected. These days, I give myself more grace, trust the process, and remember that even the little things—like a child smiling for the first time in session—matter.
To all the new (and even seasoned) counselors reading this: you’re doing important work. You don’t need to know everything to be effective. You just need to be attuned, open, and willing to learn from every experience.
Key Takeaways
- You are not a fixer: You are a guide, a support, a safe base. That is powerful.
- Boundaries matter: They allow you to show up consistently without burning out.
- Play is communication: Don’t underestimate its role in emotional expression.
- Collaboration strengthens outcomes: Be proactive in connecting with parents and teachers.
- Progress looks different for every child: Value the small wins—they’re signs of big things happening beneath the surface.
Final Thoughts (and an Invitation)
Counseling is both an art and a science. We grow with every client, every conversation, and yes, every mistake. If you’re passionate about supporting children’s emotional development and want ongoing tools, resources, and community, I invite you to check out the All Therapy Resources Membership. It’s designed for professionals like you—counselors, educators, and allied health professionals—who want to deepen their practice while taking care of their own well-being, too.
Together, we can keep showing up—for ourselves and for the children who need us.
